Peter Sandhill has shown a profound interest in educating others on the ways that partners can build a healthy relationship. As a motivational speaker, he finds that another important aspect of relationships is the legwork required to keep them fruitful and beneficial for both parties. Relationships are living, breathing, systems, and a concerted effort by both partners to keep things working smoothly will always go a long way towards its longevity. Maintaining a relationship does not need to be difficult, however, and prioritization of simple methods should be successful. Here, Peter Sandhill discusses a few effective ways that couples can enrich their existing relationships.
Keep Quality Time a Priority
Life can be full of responsibilities and, in the thick of things, it can be difficult to ensure that quality time is not lost in the shuffle. Couples that are making an active effort to maintain their relationship should always try to prioritize and protect quality time together. Whether it be date nights, structured free time together, playing games, etc. isolating time for just the two of you will work to maintain the bond that brought you together in the first place. As relationships age, couples sometimes forget the importance of enjoying each other’s company and fully focusing on shared moments. If you keep quality time carved into your schedules, you will remember just how valuable it is for maintaining the relationship.
Over the course of Peter Sandhill’s career, he has seen many couples that just did not seem to see eye to eye on their issues. A common point of contention amongst couples is that, as relationships age, they can become routine. For example, if a partner always makes sure that their significant other’s lunch is packed, they may stop receiving thanks for that small act of service. This could be a source of tension if the partner making the lunches values the small display of appreciation for what they have done. Couples should always try to make sure that appreciation is properly shown for both routine tasks and larger ones. Not only does this show that you fully value what your partner does, but it also keeps negative feelings linked to underappreciation more of a nonfactor in your relationship.
Do Not Stop Listening
When you spend a lot of time with someone, it may not be possible to listen to and recall everything that they have said over the course of your relationship. Still, Peter Sandhill speaks to our natural desire to be listened to and how damaging not hearing out a partner can be to the longevity of a relationship. From simple things such as how work was today to bigger conversations such as wants, needs, and goals, strive to be as attentive and focused on conversation as possible. One of the biggest troubles that couples on the brink of separation face is that they stop listening to each other and working to ensure that the other is truly heard. Peter Sandhill notes that this often spells disaster because, like many things in life, or feelings are subject to eb and flow. To stay in sync with our partner, we should be listening to how they feel now, not simply how things may have been before.